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I’m a famous historian!

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You wanted more excitement in your life didn’t you, Dave? Well now this is happening!

Drive, Dave, drive with all your might. Jump the rabbits, dodge the flames from the flamey dragon’s throat and deliver that picnic to Dr Lucy Worsley. It’s the only way she’ll ever notice you, Dave. But you’ve forgotten something, haven’t you, Dave?!

OH MY GOD! SHE LIKES TOASTED SANDWICHES!

You cretin, Dave! Everyone knows Dr Lucy Worsely is mad for toasted sandwiches. There’s nothing for it, Dave. You’ll have to jump those rabbits higher. Higher!. HIGHER!

Touch the dragon, Dave. Touch it! Make it fire its flamey flame. Toast that sandwich for Dr Lucy Worsley, Dave. TOAST IT!

Fuck you, Dave.

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